The Swan

Image by notti cabirian via Flickr

 

 

“Look Ma I wore your dress but they’re too big for me.
Don’t I look pretty on it for someone who’s three?”

I liked to play pretend that was my favorite game.
And Ma would always smile at me she’s always been the same.
“Buy me some new clothes Ma like a pair of jeans or two.
Cuz I’m thirteen now all my things should be new.”

I want to have my own style, to choose my own dress.
That’s what big girls do,  we dress to impress.
I changed the way I dress and how I tie my hair.
I wear nicer shoes now and my skin got more fair.

Today it’s different from the days that passed.
A few moments from now I’ll be married at last.
In a corner she sits calmly looking at my way.
At the daughter she hugged and kissed every single day.

I ask my Ma how it should be, since she’s done this before.
I’m not sure if my wedding gown should touch the floor.
“You look pretty my child whatever you wear.
I love your make up and how you did your hair.”

She smiled to me again the way she did before.
Only now she’s smiling to a lady, not a child no more.

 

“  When you grow up your mother says, ‘Wear rubbers or you’ll catch cold.’ When you become an adult you discover that you have the right not to wear rubbers and to see if you catch cold or not. It’s something like that.  ” –  Diane Arbus

 

Lost in Paradise

I’ve been to what I now call paradise and it was great.

To go there wasn’t my desire, what led me there was fate.

Everything was like a scene from a long forgotten dream.

Something that I thought had already happened or so it seem.

I lay down and took a nap on a boat made of stone,

as the water sang a lullaby in an unfamiliar tone.

I found and took some gems and jewels from the river floor.

Differrent shapes and colors but I couldn’t take them all.

So instead what I did was throw them back to where they were.

A wish I casted with every stone that I spare.

I wished to live a life, a life that I deserve

I won’t forget that day, a memory I’ll preserve.

” Paradise is exactly like where you are right now… only much, much better. ”  - Laurie Anderson

Forbidden Love

Is it possible to love more than one person at the same time?

“Is true love just once in a lifetime?” as the famous song goes.

At a certain point of our life, We fall for someone whom we dream of spending the rest of our life with.  Someone who understands us more than anyone else.  One that you imagine of fixing you breakfast everyday.  You welcome the thought of waking up each morning to find yourself sharing the same bed with that person.

But along the way we meet someone who makes us feel the same in a different way.  Someone of opposite to the partner you already have.  Two different people that make you feel the same way.  Is it then safe to say that it is possible to love more than one person at a time?  That true love isn’t once in a lifetime?

My answer would be yes.

It is possible to get attracted to someone else while you’re in a relationship. In fact, it’s natural.  We’re just acting according to our nature. That nature in us doesn’t die just because we got married more so if we’re just in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

In ancient times and even now, to some people, being committed to more than one woman is not an issue so long as he can support her.  But to most people sharing just ain’t in their dictionary.

If you’re one of those people who are in a relationship where there’s no room for another person then keep this in mind.  Accept the fact that you and your partner would still get attracted to other people, which is but normal, but it’s up to you whether to nurture that feeling or not.  If one of you found yourself attracted to someone else while in a relationship do not nurture that feeling and it will eventually die a natural death.  Do not get yourself too involved with that person ’cause you might just end up liking them more.  You have to draw the line somewhere, set your limitations.

”  Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night

not knowing there was someone like you out there.  ”  ~ Good Will Hunting

How not to be jealous

Jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-esteem.  Being insecure leads you to doubting your partner and people around the both of you. Yes, regardless of their gender.  You get jealous when your guy spends night out with his guy friends.  Same goes with girls on shopping spree with their girls.  Regardless if your partner is with the same sex or not, you’d still get jealous because your low self-esteem tells you that he is having more fun with other people than with you.

Sometimes jealousy is a deep-rooted fear of abandonment that someone will leave you, withdraw their love or attention from you because you’re “not good enough”.  If so, you need to learn that other people’s behavior and lives are not a reflection of you.

Confident people know that even when they are rejected or ridiculed, it’s not always because they failed; sometimes people are just short-sighted. And even if they do fail, it doesn’t reduce their worth; it simply means they need to learn something new.

“  Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears.  “  -  anonymous

How would you know you’re overly jealous?

1.  You watch every thing they do and watch everyone around them.

2.  You look for any eye contact or other gestures and overthink them.  A simple wave from a friend can burst your anger and start confronting him about it.

3.  You frequently check if they are looking at other people.  All eyes should either be on you or way far ahead.

4.  You worry about what they do when they are not with you. Like possibilities of them flirting with other people or meeting someone new, not to mention someone attractive perhaps.

5.  You put them down or think what they do is not enough for you.  At the same time you compare what they do for you and for other people.

6.  You get upset if they are a little late and start to get suspicious.  You loose your temper if they don’t do exactly what you want.

7.  You want to control everything about them.  The way they dress, talk, laugh even, etc.

“  Jealousy in romance is like salt in food.  A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.  “  -  Maya Angelou

How would you know you’re in love not in lust?

You feel very strongly for another person and want to know if what you’re feeling is the real deal. Ask yourself these difficult questions.

Time Required: About 5 minutes depending on the situation usually a lot longer.

1. Ask yourself: ‘Would I be willing to let her/him go if I believed it was the best thing?’

2. Ask yourself: ‘Am I willing to wait for this person if s/he is not ready to have sex?’

3. Ask yourself: ‘Would I feel the same way if s/he gained weight?’

4. Ask yourself: ‘Am I willing to sacrifice my dreams to allow her/his dreams to come true?’

5. Ask yourself: ‘Do I respect and admire her/him?’

6. Ask yourself: ‘Would I feel the same way if s/he got sick?’

7. Ask yourself: ‘If you two were in an argument, would you feel the same way?’

8. If you answered ‘No’ to any of these questions, think about why you gave that answer. Is it a lack of trust? Is it because you’re afraid? Is it selfishness? Do you need more time to get to know each other?

9. If you answered ‘Yes’ to all of these questions, wow, you feel very strongly about this person. It sounds like you’re really in love!

“  The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.   “  – anonymous

Monalisa Smile

Monalisa tell me why,

why are you so shy?

You wear the most beautiful smile

but you’ve been alone now for awhile.

———————— [ o ] ————————

Monalisa tell me why,

why you’re not with your guy?

What happened to the flowers

and his sweet love letters?

———————— [ o ] ————————

Monalisa tell me why,

why did you have to lie?

About not needing someone

and not trusting no one.

———————— [ o ] ————————

Monalisa tell me why,

why I never saw you cry?

You always say you’re fine

when I hold your hand in mine.

———————— [ o ] ————————

Monalisa I know now why,

why you managed to get by.

With the loneliness that you feel

you pretended it wasn’t real.

A poem inspired by someone I just met. Done in just 30 minutes, maybe less.  I hope you find happiness within yourself.  It’s not easy but you’ll get used to it, I think you already have.  But if you found something else that will make you happy, grab on to it.  You might not want it that bad but you deserve to be happy.

“  I’ve convinced everyone else that I don’t like you and that I don’t love you anymore.

Now all I need to do is convince myself  ” – anonymous

Too Much Love

This goes out to my very first reader who sent me something to write about. I won’t be able to describe nor express how you really feel unless I’ve lived the life you have.  But allow me to share to you my thoughts and thank you for trusting me so much on this.

I thought it would be easy to create poems for other people but it’s not.  For some maybe but not for me.  I’m worried I might use the wrong words and that it might come out differently.  That it might affect what you think and make you decide on something you’re really not sure of. So instead let me share with you these lines from a movie I saw.

How will you make it from now on? But I believe so much that you can make it.  Sometimes we love so much that we end up hurting each other. But as time goes by, I think all of us will agree, that there is no such thing as “too much love”.   Even if we had made mistakes along the way, it’s better than never having tried to love and be loved wouldn’t you agree? Life always gives us opportunity to start over after we learn from our mistakes.  – from a movie I saw

To mellow you down, here’s a song I thought of while I was thinking about this whole thing.  We can’t relive our yesterdays but we can always decide what to do with our tomorrows.  There’s also a quote on the last part of this post that you might like.

As much as I would want to give you a direct advise on what possible things you can do I’m afraid I can’t.  But I trust that you have a good head above your shoulders and that you’ll make the right decision.  Whatever you decide on, Ill support you even if it meant loosing some friends along the way.

I Didn’t Mean To Make You Mine – Nina

“No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.”
-Mignon McLaughlin

How to make a relationship last

Step 1
Communicate! Talk quite a bit, but don’t keep calling over and over and over again. It’s bad. Also falling in with this rule: If you think it’s starting to go wrong, TALK!! Tell the person you’re seeing, so there is a chance to fix it.

Step 2
See the person as much as you can. If you go to school with them, the better. Not seeing someone that you talk to on the phone everyday is bad. But if you can’t see them, try to maintain constant communication.

Step 3
If the person fell for you because you’re funny, or you’re fun to hang around with, don’t change when you start to go out. Don’t get all lovey-dovey, because they won’t be dating you for the reason they started to date you anymore, which brings me to step 4.

Step 4
Don’t start to say ‘I love you’ too soon. It can’t get all too serious right away. Basically, don’t move too fast emotionally.

Step 5

Don’t consistently tell the person you’re dating that they’re hot, that you feel lucky that you got them, or that you don’t know how you got them. They might start to feel the same way, and wonder why they’re dating you. Just don’t compliment too much. Don’t do too much.
Step 6
Don’t talk about ex’s, or these other girls/guys you were talking to at school/work/home/whatever. Even if you tell her/him that nothing happened and you would never cheat, you shouldn’t make them think that. They should never think that, because then they could turn out to be paranoid. The obvious addition to this step is DON’T CHEAT!

Step 7
Don’t be suspicious of them. If you don’t trust the person you’re dating, you won’t last very long. It ruins it.

“  If words could say all that we feel, there would be no need for an embrace. But language has its limitations, and the heart has none. It expresses itself spontaneously in even the smallest things we do.  ”  -  Robert Sexton

Heartbroken

Someone broke my heart now it doesn’t work as it used to.

Love songs can’t make it beat any faster nor can romantic movies.

They call it heartbreak but why is it that the rest of my body doesn’t feel any different?

Feels like dying from the inside when in fact, by all means, you’re perfectly fine.

Somewhere where your heart used to be, is a very excruciating pain.

When your body is filled with too much emotions, some of the water comes out of your eyes.

Sometimes when you’re too happy you cry and the same when you’re sad.

Everything seems darker, more quite.

Every sad love song seem to have been made for you.

Everything you see reminds you of that person.

No matter how hard you try, to forget about it, it finds its way back to you.

So just let it be.

Cry all you can.

It’s a process they say.

Along the process, all the sad memories will be stripped away.

All that’s left would be happy memories and forgiveness.

It will take time.

But you’ll get there and you’ll be okay.

“  I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you

so I could fucking drown you in them.  “  -  anonymous